The Matriarchs Song
by Elizabeth Carter
Summary: From the eyes of Matriarch Benezia as she confronts her only child and the first human Spectre in Novaria.


"You don't know the privilege of being a mother

AUTHOR: Elizabeth E. Carter

E-MAIL: 

TITLE: The Matriarch's Song

SERIES: Mass Effect

PAIRING: Paragon F Shepard / Liara

CATEGORY: hurt comfort

RATING: M

GENERAL SPOILER ALERT

SUMMARY: From the eyes of Matriarch Benezia as she confronts her only child and the first human Spectre in Novaria.

AUTHORS NOTES: My Shepard is Vanguard-Spacer-War Hero concept

DISCLAIMER: Bioware owns the concept of Mass Effect and all of its characters. This fanfic is for entertainment and no profit what-so-ever. Based on game and books, lines borrowed from both.

(Beta reader Jo aka Celievamp)

ARCHIVE: Passion and Perfection, Dark Matter, anyone else simply ask so I know where to look

The Matriarch's Song

"You don't know the privilege of being a mother. There is power in creation. To shape a life; to turn it toward happiness or despair." Matriarch Benezia T'soni turned her head ever so slightly, challenging the intruders with her gaze. "Her children were to be ours to raise, to hunt and slay Saren's enemies." The Matriarch paused for a moment before she took a few strides towards the stairwell where the three interlopers stood. She felt an inward pull a tugging at her mind when she saw that none other than her daughter was amongst their number. That moment flickered away as a blink of the eye. 'So Shepard will use emotional blackmail.'

"I won't be moved by sympathy…" she told Shepard though her eyes were trained on her daughter accusingly. "No matter who you bring into this confrontation."

"Liara's here because she wants to be, not because I asked her to."

The Prothean expert stood a little prouder, her hands clasped behind her back as she had seen Shepard do in the presence of superior officers. Pride swelled within her knowing just how much Shepard trusted her…loved her.

The Matriarch saw something else in the exchange of glances given between her daughter and the human Spectre. They had shared a mind meld obviously, but had they shared more? Had they Joined? She could feel the very vibrations of love between them even if they did not display it. As far as she knew Liara had never melded with another save for that of mother and daughter let along Joined with a lover.

"Indeed…" Benezia scoffed. The Matriarch narrowed her eyes glowering at her daughter. "What have you told her about me, Liara?"

Liara was mute for a moment as disbelief clouded her heart. She had not spoken to her mother in many years; this was not the reunion she had wanted. Pain lanced through her soul into her heart. "What could I say Mother? What could I tell them? That you are insane? Evil? Should I explain how to kill you?" She was in tears now, quivering. "What could I say!?"

Shepard moved closer to Liara close enough to touch but did not. She shared a look hoping to convey her support. The look also conveyed lament for what was to come.

'So they are paired!' The Matriarch regarded both her daughter and the Spectre with harsh, critical eyes. Liara averted her gaze, whimpering slightly. The Matriarch took another step forward this time her words addressed the human, ignoring her daughter completely. "Have you faced an asari commando unit before?" a small grim smile snaked its way onto black lips. "Few humans have."

Shepard placed her body as a shield in front of Liara. Her ice blue eyes brimming with rage, disbelief and bravado. "I can't believe you'd kill your own daughter!" She spat.

The older T'soni's face became unreadable. A wave of her hand summoned levels of biotic power neither Shepard nor Liara had ever used. The third human female stepped back pulling her assault rife up to bear but was uncertain whether to fire or hold her position.

"I now realize I should have been stricter with her…" With that, the Matriarch pushed her hand forward. Blue energy hurtled forward slamming Shepard back against the wall, while simultaneously flinging Liara into stasis.

Wave after wave of asari commandos and geth juggernauts stormed the catwalks. Matriarch Benezia watched coldly as the two humans and her child faced off against overwhelming odds. The Spectre was an accomplished biotic though clearly not as powerful as Liara. But she held her own, switching between biotic lifts, singularities, throws and taking rapid marksmen shots with her pistol. Lobbed grenades ripped through the geth shields making them vulnerable for the next assault coming from a third direction, that of the other female. The three of them dashed in and out of the cover of the stacked crates. The three were as one, battling almost as a collective consciousness yet independent. Benezia was astounded at the battle prose of her child. Liara as all asari maidens had been trained not only in biotics but battle. When Little Wing had turned seventy-five the age many daughters commit to becoming commandos, she instead chose to peruse academia and her rebellious unconventional study of archeology.

Now it seemed the human Spectre had an influence over the younger T'soni. Had galvanized battle instinct and war into the maiden. She mirrored every action, every move Shepard made with asari precision and efficiency.

One of the commandos managed to knock Liara down, pinning her to the mesh flooring. Liara let out a moan of pain as the commando slammed her down again with a biotic punch.

"You bitch!" Benezia heard Shepard snarl as she charged the offender. In her hand was a military issued talon. The blade slashed the air and throat alike. The asari commando fell with a shocked expression still on her face at such a brutal frontal attack.

"Liara?"

"Don't worry about me Samantha." Liara snatched a grenade from Shepard's utility belt as the Spectre helped her to her feet and tossed it at a charging geth before she zapped it with a stasis pulse. They rose to their feet, back to back fighting off the last of the commandos.

Benezia stood impressed. Saren was right to fear this human who charged heedlessly into danger to protect Liara. Little Wing had found love. Suddenly the proud Matriarch faltered. Benezia T'soni the most powerful biotic in Citadel Space, certainly the most revered of the Matriarchs fell to her knees. Broken. Saren's whispers were growing dimmer. The part of her that was still Benezia screamed out for her child. It screamed out to be heard, to be recognized.

Shepard charged up to the antechamber where Benezia has garrisoned with the imprisoned rachni queen. Her breathing erratic one hand glowed brilliantly in the blue energy of element zero, while the other held a Spectre issued pistol aimed directly at Benezia's chest.

"I am not done yet." The Matriarch hissed.

"Don't do this Lady Benezia. Stand down! Don't make me do this!"

Benezia screamed inside the mind of the Matriarch, shouting desperately over the whispers of Saren. "This is not over. Saren is unstoppable. My mind is filled with his light. Everything is clear." Benezia turned her back to the Spectre, her body quaking with power, rage, desperation she clutched the surface of the lab table to keep her balance.

"The rachni didn't listen to you why should I?"

It occurred to Benezia that Shepard was stalling, perhaps in hopes to redeem the fallen Matriarch. Benezia shuddered as she felt the hidden part of herself become more assertive. "Saren still whispers in my mind. I can fight his compulsions briefly, but the indoctrination is strong."

Shepard lowered her weapon, her finger still flagged the trigger but it was aimed no longer at the elder T'soni but at the floor. "Why are you able to break free of his control now?"

Benezia looked to her child, her beloved daughter. Liara's eyes were distraught, pained beyond measure. "I set apart of my mind away from indoctrination, saving it for a moment when I could help destroy him. It will not last long." Benezia grew desperate for Shepard to believe her. She could not hold out long. 'Oh Goddess give me the strength, the power to hold on to myself. Let me be true to myself. In your mercy, I beg you!'

"So you could turn on me…on us again." Cold blue eyes challenged the Matriarch.

"Yes. But it would not be my will Shepard. People are not themselves around Saren. You come to idolize him. Worship him. You would do anything for him." Her silver-blue eyes looked from Shepard to her beloved daughter. Guilt splayed across the dark blue features. "The key is Sovereign - his flagship. It is a dreadnought of incredible size and it is extraordinary."

"Where did it come from?"

"I can not say. The geth did not build it. Its technology is more advanced than any known species. The longer you stay aboard the more Saren's will seems correct. You sit at his feet and smile as his words flood in to you. At first I thought I was strong enough to resist, instead I became a willing tool ever to serve."

"We met Shiara on Faros. She told us of Sovereign's indoctrination." Shepard's voice took on a note of sympathy and perhaps even a hint of forgiveness. Her eyes riveted on the matriarch readying herself for another assault.

Benezia shivered once more as she replayed the last events in her mind, her betrayal of a mother's love for her only begotten daughter. Liara would need Shepard's love in the forthcoming hours after the battle that could only have one outcome. Benezia T'soni knew this would be the last time she would ever see her Little Wing.

Her voice quaked on the verge of remorse, and unshed tears. "It is a terror to be trapped in your mind, to beat upon the glass as your hands torture and murder." Again her gaze fell upon her child, praying to the Goddess that Little Wing would fathom the unspoken words and emotions pouring from the shattered soul she had become because of Saren. "I was powerless, nothing but a tool for Saren. He sent me here to find the Mu relay. Its position was lost thousands of years ago."

Shepard didn't even attempt to disguise her astonishment. "How does something that big go missing?"

"Four thousand years ago a star nearby went supernova. The shockwave propelled the relay out of its system but did not destroy it, its precise vector and speed impossible to determine. Millennia passed the nebula created by the nova enveloped the relay. It is difficult to find any cold object in space. Particularly something swathed in hot dust and radiation."

"Someone on Noveria found it? I assume you have the coordinates."

Benezia nodded. "Two thousand years rachni inhabited this region of our galaxy. They discovered the Mu relay. The Rachni can share memories across generations. Queens inherit knowledge from their mothers." The regal asari looked back to the moaning great and terrible rachni locked in her tank. "I took the location of the relay from the queen. I was not gentle." Grief overwhelmed the once proud figure.

Liara gasped. Of all the crimes Benezia could have committed. Mental rape was the gravest, most henhouse even above murder and torture. She had to look away from her mother. It was a struggle to even contemplate her mother had become a mental-rapist. It shattered her heart. When she looked up again she saw the great shame in her mother's eyes. Saren had done this. He had turned Benezia T'soni into some creature unrecognizable to a child's love.

Liara looked at her mothers' face truly looked and saw the darkness around the eyes and cheekbones and lips. Benezia was skeletal, gaunt—drained. She was great and terrible. Eyes once as bright and blue as Liara's became but shadows of that brilliance. The sacred black robes of Athame became a mockery of what they truly represented.

It was only a heartbeat between Benezia's admittance to the grievous crime and Shepard's next words. But that beat lasted an eternity for Benezia when she saw the shame in her daughter's ever expressive eyes. But she had to admit to the crime, had to be honest. She lost so much because of Saren. Benezia knew she would never be absolved of her crime but she had to be forthright, Little Wing deserved that much and so much more.

"You can still make it right. Give me the location of the relay."

Benezia was shocked at the kindness in the human's voice. It was not a sound she thought to hear from the Spectre. It certainly wasn't one she deserved. "I was not myself, but I should have been stronger. I transmitted the data to an OSD. Take it! Please!" her voice quaked with regret, her eyes watered with tears. Benezia felt the strings of Saren's Matriarch stir once more. She had to hang on just a little longer. She had to tell Little Wing just what she meant to her, that she loved her so much.

Liara's voice was not the calm kindness the Spectre had shown but cold and removed. "Knowing the relay's coordinates is not enough, Mother. Do you know where he planned to go from there?"

The dark headdress swooshed softly as Benezia shook her head. "Saren would not tell me his destination. But you must find out quickly. I transmitted the coordinates to Saren just before you arrived. You have to stop him! Stop me!" Benezia fell back clutching her head. Shuddering. 'No! No not now…Oh Little Wing I am so sorry.' "His teeth are at my ear! His fingers at my spine!" Benezia screamed in pain. "You should…you should…"

"Mother!" Liara ran up to her mother wanting to, needing to hold her. "Don't! I…Don't leave me! Fight him!" Liara wept. Her mother gently pushed her child away with such desperation.

"You've always made me proud, Liara." Soft eyes looked at the younger asari with warmth and deep love.

"Mother…"

Benezia closed her eyes, pain lanced though every nerve ending, her mind exploding in such terrible agony she had never known, not even with the first rebellion against indoctrination.. The Matriarch returned. Eyes dark looked to the younger asari with malaise and hate. "DIE!"

All that malaise, all that hate born of Saren's will became reflected in a powerful biotic warp-throw at the Matriarch's hands. Liara, Shepard and Williams were flung back bonelessly against the anti-chamber's transparent wall.

Liara recovered first. She flung a stasis shield at her mother, locking her in the energy barrier for a precious few seconds so that her comrades were protected. Shepard and Williams rolled to their feet. Their guns aimed not at Benezia but the summoned commandos now flanking the antechamber. Williams went right, Shepard took the left flank. Each marine firing off dozens of rounds keeping back a fresh squad of geth troopers in desperation to keep them away from the asari in the alcove.

"Liara, for the love of the goddess keep your mother in stasis. We can still save her!" ordered Shepard just before she stormed one of the commandos rushing the catwalk.

The Matriarch sneered as she regarded her daughter. "You should have finished me off when you had the chance, Liara. You have a strong command of biotics. You knew you should have slipped into my mind and destroyed it from within, when I was weaker. Your compassion will be your undoing. It surely will be '_her_' undoing."

Liara risked a glance over her shoulder to see the Spectre going head to head with the same commando she had charged. Both using a biotic push, yet their powers were blocked by the others. It became a shoving match between biotics. Liara saw a cruel and cunning expression on her mother's face when she realized the trap had been sprung. Another asari commando had taken a sniper's position atop several crates waiting for a clear shot. Williams was still holding off the geth, the only way to save Shepard was to focus the force of biotics at the sniper. That meant dropping her guard over Benezia.

Liara didn't hesitate she sprang from her relatively safe position in the rachni alcove, summoned up the power of a singularity burst and hurled it towards the sniper. In the past she had been afraid to surrender herself to the raw emotions fueled asari command over biotics. Now she had no such limitations; for the first time she was calling upon her full potential.

The command was driven back with furious biotic slashes, forcing the enemy into a backpedaling retreat across the catwalks of the chamber. The purple skinned asari flipped back and out through the door into the corridor beyond, but Liara was relentless in her pursuit, leaping forward landing a crippling biotic blow on the commando's leg. The outcome was inevitable. Liara like her mother was simply too strong with biotics. Only some unexpected maneuver could save the commando's life.

Armed with her own assault rifle, the Matriarch had yet to fire on her child; this was not out of any maternal feelings however. The Matriarch held no such compulsions that Benezia T'soni coveted for her Little Wing. She watched impassively as Liara battled the commando out of sheer fascination. She had to admit she was greatly impressed. But then Liara was always powerful with biotics, but she refused to unleash her full power. The human Spectre had changed her child. Liara still the scholar had become a warrior to be reckoned with. Shepard had changed Liara as much as Saren had changed Benezia.

The human had no Reaper ship to indoctrinate Liara or the others that followed her orders without question, without hesitation. How!? How was she able to manipulate so many without the influence of the Thorian, without Sovereign? There had to be something more to the beacon on Eden Prime; something that had changed both Spectres. One became a paragon of light the other a renegade of the dark. Matriarch Benezia wanted -needed to understand. If she could turn Shepard, the human Spectre would become a powerful ally. Perhaps together they could destroy Saren and claim their rightful place with Sovereign.

A volley of marine rifle fire ripped though geth lines, taking down those who were unable to deflect the shots. A second volley tore through the melee. The bolts ricocheted widely as asari, geth and Spectre alike struggled to take the field. Shepard stood in the thickest of the fighting, hewing down foes foolish enough to come in range of her fierce command of biotics and marksmanship. Her nostrils were filled with the greasy-sweet stench of charred flesh, and a wall of geth and commando bodies were mounting over her like carrion beetles on a fresh kill, seeking to drag her down by sheer numbers.

Williams vanished beneath a sea of enemies, and Shepard redoubled her efforts to get to her fallen comrade. She was unstoppable in her fury, like the devastating storms of Noveria itself. When she reached her, Williams was down but not dead.

From the vantage point Matriarch Benezia saw Shepard summon the unique Spectre ability to heal others. Saren had used such a power on Shiara once when the matron had been gravely wounded and poisoned by Thorian thralls, before he traded the disciple for the cipher.

As if feeling the Matriarch's gaze on her, Shepard looked up to the glass enclosure and frowned. No doubt she hadn't realized what Liara risked for her only moments ago. The Spectre scanned the ruins of the battle trying to locate the young asari.

The Matriarch took the moment of distraction to hurl a ball of ferocious power into the Spectre: a deadly combination of warp and biotic throw. Shepard slammed hard against several crates with a grunt. The next wave was a singularity. Shepard was flung against walls and ceiling. She was spun, tossed and slammed against the sides of geth shipping crates as the Matriarch flung wave after wave of biotics careening into her before she was allowed to collapse into an unmoving heap on the floor.

"Shepard!" Williams screamed rushing to her commander's side. Miraculously the Spectre had survived, saved by the surging energies enveloping her form. Strong as she was, Shepard's life was threatened unless she was given aid. Williams used what few medi-gel packs she had on her own person, before Shepard was able to use biotics to heal the rest.

Liara was quickly at the side of the two marines, her entire body glowing blue with element zero energies. She became unrelenting in battle to reach the Spectre. There was no doubt in the Matriarch's mind now just how close her daughter had become with the human. If they hadn't already Joined they soon would. Or rather they would have assuming they lived past the next couple of minutes. It was unlikely. But unlike Saren, the Matriarch wasn't going to underestimate Shepard. Not after what she had seen in the young human warrior. The trio battled back to back to back. Shepard faced Benezia's alcove. A slim smile found her face in a very curious expression.

The Spectre reached for her belt grabbed a disk and used a biotic throw to fling the grenade at the matriarch. Benezia watched in slow motion as the propelled munitions zoomed directly for her. The asari tried to hastily threw up a barrier making the grenade inert. Though she should not have bothered - it was a concussion grenade of no true magnitude. Obviously used for a none-lethal crowd control. A nerve agent was released but had no effect on the Matriarch. The smoke of the nerve gas did nothing but cloud her vision and annoy her.

Benezia's skull exploded as Shepard's forearm slammed into her face. Pain turned her vision into a field of silver stars. The sudden impact sent her hurtling to the metal floor. Roaring in fury the Matriarch rolled to get up but found her body pinned. Shepard had used the distraction of battle and gas grenade to rush, strike down the Matriarch and trap her in a stasis field.

"Now stay down! I don't want to kill you. You fought him before, do it again. Come on Lady Benezia fight him! Come back to yourself, to your daughter! Don't let him win. Fight it." Shepard screamed at her. "Liara isn't even a matron yet she still needs her mother's guidance. Come back to her, Lady Benezia. It's not too late. "

The Matriarch rose but once more Shepard slammed a stasis field on her. "I don't want to kill you. Don't make me! Don't make me kill the mother of the woman I love. Fight Saren, fight it!" Shepard pleaded.

Benezia's power was failing again and again she resisted the Spectre's stasis field. Again she was struck but this time it was with a singularity that smashed her against the rachni tank. Having spent the majority of her power ripping information from the rachni queen, summoning and fueling commandos and geth alike as well as using her own biotics had exhausted the Matriarch. Her wounds were too grave for her to heal; her energy was leaving her in droves.

Benezia fell back against the support struts of the antechamber. Her body quivered in pain and exhaustion. 'You love my daughter enough to try and save her mother. Little Wing will be safe with you. She will resist but protect her Samantha Shepard. Protect her from my fate… from her grief.'

Shepard stood ready to strike this time with a killing blow. Both matriarch and Spectre heard Liara rush the stairs her body shimmering with brilliant blue light. In that moment mother and daughter locked gazes and Liara knew who now was speaking.

"I can not go on. _You _will have to stop him Shepard." Benezia uttered in a broken desperate voice.

Shepard ran forward this time her biotics summed the power to heal, "Hold on! We've got medi-gel. We get you stabilized, get you to clinic…we can save you." The Spectre eased the matriarch to the floor of the anti chamber.

"No." Benezia's voice was filled with grief her eyes flooded with tears. Her hand holding onto Shepard armored one, stopping her from calling upon the Spectre hewed biotics that would pull her from death. She saw the grief and understanding reflected in the blue irises of the human. "He is still in my mind. I am not entirely myself. I never will be again."

"Mother!" Liara quickly dashed to her mother's side taking Shepard's place. "Please…" Liara cradled her mother's limp body.

"Good night Little Wing. I will see you with the dawn."

Liara rested her forehead against the brow of her beloved mother. "I love you mother."

"Where is the light? They said there would be a light…"

There was no light but rain. How could it rain inside the lab? Soft rain fell on her face, washing away the stain of Saren's touch. Matriarch Benezia T'soni's last breath ended in the realization that it was not rain falling on her cheeks but tears shed from her Little Wing.

End

(Post A/N: I was listening to the sound track to the Two Towers when Gollum's Song by Fran Walsh popped up was I was writing the confrontation between Benezia and Shepard and Liara. I thought how appropriate. So I changed the title form the Matriarch's Last Stand to the Matriarch's Song. I wrote the last bit of the death scene deliberately to the 'Lament for Gandalf' thinking the asari would sing so for Benezia once they heard how she fell, and how she struggled to turn the tide of Saren)

I never write song fic but here are the lyrics of Gollum's Song. Think as you read them of Benezia's indoctrination and the lies pouring into her mind from Saren and how well these lyrics fit.

Where once was light

Now darkness falls

Love is no more

Don't say—goodbye

Don't say-- I didn't try…

These tears we cry

Are falling rain

For all the lies

You told us

The hurt, the pain

And we will weep

To be so alone

We are lost!

We can never go home

So in the end

I will be—what I will be

No loyal friend

Was ever there for me

Now we say—goodbye

We say—you didn't try…

These tears we cry

Have come too late

Take back the lies

You told us

The hurt, the blame!

And you will weep

When you face the end alone

You are lost!

You can never go home


End file.
